So an acquaintance of mine wrote a rather epic blog post, part of the conversation around which brought up a very interesting concept: I am a member (free) of a couple of dating sites. In looking through many profiles, one of the most common admonishments from women to men, even more common than “no drama!!!!!” is “no dick pics!!!!!”
Okay, this is a departure from the usual content of this blog, but I think it’s important, and perhaps encouraging, even though it’s coming from a guy (me) who knows so little about women that calling myself an expert would be laughable at best. At a very generous best. When it comes to relating to women on a romantic level, this is simply one of the many areas regarding women in which I fall woefully short of the mark. And still, I offer this:
What is there to be gained from sending an unsolicited dick pic to a woman given that studies show, I believe, that most women are not as visually oriented as men when it comes to sex? I’m not saying all women–some may be, and maybe it comes down to context and whether the lady knows the man. But the fact remains that it seems to be done enough that a disproportionate amount of women seem to have had enough of it. And yet men send the pics.
I wonder if this is the same person who insists, despite arguments to the contrary, that it’s the size of a man’s gentleman’s bits that counts, rather than how those bits are used. Although, as I write this, I wonder if it still applies if the fellow is “well”-endowed _and_ rather skilled…Ehhh–I still have to side with skill. Anyway, most women I’ve talked to in casual conversation seem to say it’s how it’s used, not the size.
Finally, I offer that it seems like a lot of women are less concerned about a man’s physical looks than what that man is like on the inside. I’ve heard it consistently enough that I tend to believe it. This is no excuse to not present oneself at one’s best (why give a reason for her to reject you?), but it does suggest that the fellow would be well-served to pay attention to his outside but to pay even more attention to being attractive inside.
I invite comments on this, but my assertion is this: perhaps it would serve men well to think less like men in determining how to attract a lady but to listen (without selective hearing) to, um, what they’re telling us. Seems like looks might be important, but it’s in terms of how the man keeps himself. Inside, confidence (which seems like the most desired quality) can let a man be kind, generous and for crying’ out loud have a sense of humor. I think, though, that the most important thing a man can do, the one thing that might, MIGHT, be most likely to attract a woman is this: listen.
Agree? Disagree? Am I full of beans? Comment below, or hit me up on Twitter.